I'm over it.
This is a message for mamas that are covered up at the beach or pool because they don't feel like they're worthy of removing the layers.
Wear the bathing suit.
You are beautiful, absolute perfection. You've experienced life. You've brought life into the world. You've sacrificed and you've put others before yourself.
You are basically a unicorn.
But what about you?
What about you is less than anybody else? Why don't you think you're beautiful?
Is it because your body isn't the same as it was in college?
Is it because your arms have some jiggle when you're waving at your kids after school?
Is it because you have stretch marks that you desperately wish would disappear?
Is it because your more wiggly than you want to be?
All of those are signs of a goddess. A warrior. A real beauty.
Each stage of life is a treasure. You aren't meant to be the same person inside or out. That's the beautiful evolution of life... and gravity I suppose 😉
I think we're unintentionally teaching our kids to be self-conscious. They are hearing us and watching our every move. They hear when we say we're fat. They see us huddled up on the side with our layers on. They watch the way we look at our self in the mirror.
How would you feel if your kid was telling their self the same thing? Would you intervene and correct their inner dialogue? Of course, you would, so do it for yourself first.
It's hard to look in the mirror and smile when you don't feel good about what's you see. We've all been in changing rooms where we squint in the mirror because those up-close angles are not helping with the spirit of shopping. Target, I'm talking about your extra bright fitting rooms with giant angled mirrors.
Here's what you should do when you look at yourself in the mirror.
Start with a smile. Say I love you. I'm proud of you. And look how far we've come.
Tell yourself you are beautiful. You are strong. You are resilient. And you are worthy.
We're missing out on life because we're worried about what others think when in reality, they're thinking the same things about themselves.
I love my mom. She is strong, funny, and one of my true idols.
I remember when we were growing up, she wouldn't go swimming with us. She's a great swimmer and a super fun mom so we'd always beg her to come in the water with us.
She wouldn't even wear her bathing suit sometimes so she had an easy way out of the conversation.
She didn't like the way she looked in a bathing suit and was expressive about it. To us, she was perfect and I remember being sad about her feeling that way about herself. How many hours of laughs and missed memories was she robbed of because she was constantly comparing?
I wonder if she realized we were watching and listening. I wonder if she knew that it would make us question ourselves too? Mom, if you are reading this. You are perfect 💞
I look at my daughter and have to catch myself when I'm being self-conscious. I don't want her to sit out of anything because she doesn't feel up to par externally. It would crush my soul to see it.
Kids don't automatically think those things, it's a learned behavior. If I'm spending my day telling her she's great, beautiful, fun, loving, and incredible, it's a contradiction to say anything but those things exact things to myself.
When I goto the beach or pool these days, I don't always feel confident. I have to sometimes force myself to lose the layers and splash around with my littles.
I adore the mamas roaming around with their bathing suits on playing with their kids. The laughter is contagious and it just feels right. I always give them a giant smile and virtual cheers. Maybe she didn't feel like putting her suit on today either?
I'm learning to empower and love myself with my words and actions. To say it's a work in progress is definitely an understatement. Think of it like a muscle you have to train and develop. Little daily nudges, brave actions, and consistent reassurance will grow the self-love muscle.
Life is a beautiful thing and you are literally a masterpiece. Hug yourself today and every day, not just because you're kids are watching, but because you deserve it.
Now go put on the bathing suit, ma 💞
Cover image: @theperfectmom
PS: Mama, if you are looking for a tribe of mamas that are funny af, down to earth, and a solid girl squad for life and motherhood, join us here.
The 5 Biggest Regrets of Parents
A Letter to my Husband From the Girl You Made "Mom"