The greatest motherhood advice I've ever gotten was from my dad, take it one day at a time.
My vow for the summer was to spend less time working and more time at home being present with my kids. What a terrible freaking idea.
Kidding. But only kinda.
We got back from the waterpark a few hours ago and along the way home I was trying to collect my thoughts between all the bickering and shrieking in the backseat. It seems like life has been this way nonstop since school ended and it's got me running on my last nerve.
This was one of those days that you try to plan nicely so everything works out and in your mind, you're doing something that'll create these magical memories to last a lifetime.
"Remember that time mom took us to the waterpark?" they would say.
Not the damn case here.
A few months ago after my husband rolled in from work, I proudly announced to him, "No sports, no activities, only straight-up family bonding this summer."
He slowly nodded at me but looked more than a bit confused. "Aren't you going to lose your mind?"
I was convinced it was going to be great and gave him a look like he didn't know what he was talking about. I have actual mom of the year trophies on my dresser, how could I lose my mind? I was built for this baby!
Actually, zero trophies. Not a single one.
I blame the wine for the conversation in the first place. And for reading some blog about only having a certain number of summers with the kids before they leave us and become adults.
Who wrote that f*cking blog? Can you babysit? Was that a trick? I might've just gotten punked...
We're smack dab in the middle of summer and every day I have to breathe and walk into another room for a bit because, well, family bonding looks a little different for all of us.
It's times like these that we really need a friend, Dry Bar, an XL dirty martini, and a trip to Vegas to see Thunder From Down Under... or Gaga.
F*ck it let's do it all. Just one event doesn't even hold a candle to the daily rollercoaster I'm on.
I think the moral of the story is don't have any kids.
It's funny how every mom feels the need to go back and say 'But I looooove my kids so much'.
Cork it, Martha.
We all love our little monsters a freaking lot. But we are all learning as we grow and this shit is totally hard.
We didn't take a 'how to keep your sanity test' in the delivery room after popping out 2 lovely hemorrhoids... and a baby.
Or have a 'how-to referee all day long making things up on the fly' test.
Or even how to use sign language for the days you lose your voice from yelling. Everybody SHUT THE HAIL UP!
We took zero tests to become full-fledged moms.
We are all learning on the fly. We're all trying to live a life free of regrets.
My dad is incredibly patient, wise, and like most, he has navigated some tough situations throughout life.
He also raised 4 girls, to which I think maybe his finest accomplishment. Can you say drama?
He also had the most incredible red afro ever when he was in his hay day. My mom wasn't letting that tiger go...
Aside from the noteworthy afro, there's something special he said to us over and over throughout every tough time or problem we've faced.
'Take it one day at a time'.
Okay, whatever dad. I was always waiting for something with a little more zing. One day at a time though? That always annoyed me.
Now, I live by it. I'm wise now helloooo.
There's no point in worrying for the future, regretting the past, or looking beyond what's in front of us in the moment.
I think there's a lot to be said about presence, breathing, and keeping it all in perspective, but somedays you just get rocked by motherhood.
The fights, teasing, screaming, poking, taking clothes, toys, pains of potty training, and simply looking at one another until the fights erupt are like nails on a chalkboard.
A nanny would be great here.
It's a lot to handle.
The hard days and hard moments will come, some will even stick around for a while.
What I'm trying to focus on right now it taking motherhood one day at a time. There is so much goodness in the moments of peace.
The real test is to find it in the midst of chaos.
Maybe someday it'll get easier, maybe not.
At the end of the day, I look at my sleeping monsters and know they are my life's greatest work and will continue to be.
They are perfect, sometimes they are ass holes, sometimes I am too. We're all growing through life together and taking it one day at a time.