Last night I had a shower, in complete peace and quiet. During that undisrupted 10 minutes of life, my thoughts were swirling.
Wait a minute.
Is everybody okay? Why are my kids so silent? Are they breathing?
I had confirmation from my husband that everybody was, in fact, breathing and watching a movie together before bed.
A peaceful shower it became.
During that time a thought popped into my head. I know it's been happening for a long time, but lately, I'm watching people picking sides. There's a lot of shame and finger pointing going on. I'm guilty of doing it too. But why?
SAHM vs. career moms
Breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding
Natural birth vs. epidurals
Hiring a nanny vs. doing it solo
Organic vs. non-organic
Private school vs. public
Sports vs. playtime
Cursing vs. non-cursing
Having one child vs. having 10 children
Allowance vs. no-allowance
Hiring a cleaner vs. cleaning your own house
Sleeping alone vs. co-sleeping
Husband focus vs. child focused
...and lots more.
I realized something important. We are ALL on the same team. We love our families deeply and are trying to do the best damn job we can. It's not easy stuff, it's a constant struggle and question of character.
All those things above are tactics, they're our own methods of how we think things should be done based on our past reality, research, or experience.
Your tactics don't make you better or worse of a mom than anybody else.
Your purpose the same, your method of achieving it may be different and that's ok. That's actually great, there should be diversity and difference of opinion.
All the more, that means you're doing what you think is right for your family and your situation.
And you are.
Welcome to team motherhood.
Let's high five the woman next to us breastfeeding when we're shaking up a formula bottle for our babies because you know what, both women love their babies.
Let's high five the neighbor that came home smiling with her brand new baby after happily getting an epidural, even if you opted for a non-medicated birth because you know what, she loves her baby.
Let's high five the homeschooling mom because that s*** is not easy! Maybe you're a mom that thinks public school is like heavens gates and you know what, you both love your kids.
Let's high five the mom that fed her child sugary non-organic cereal in the morning because you know what, despite your beliefs, she also loves her kids.
Let's high five the mom that has a nanny over to help with the kids because she knows it helps her be a better mom because you know what, she loves her kids.
Let's high five the couple that takes a week-long vacation 4x a year without their kids because you know what, they love each other and they love their kids.
Let's hive five both the career mom and the SAHM because no matter which way you slice it, it's all tough, we're all doing our best, and we all love our kids.
We are all on the same team, ladies.
Our kids are watching, listening, and building their own beliefs based on us. We can help build happier, more kind, and confident kids if we can shift our own thinking and be more compassionate.
Motherhood can be a safe place for us all if we lose the 'Oh my God Becky' stares and recognize that we're not the only damn human that loves our kids.
If we stop shaming and show more love and appreciation for others that are also doing their best I think the world would feel a big shift.
I see you mama and I'm giving you a fist bump and a sip of my vino because now it's almost gone ;)