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Sometimes As Moms, We Love Ourselves Last

Originally posted on: Life with Huddy and Harry

There are days I am so hard on myself. I’m sure you can relate. There are days I feel guilty for a lot of things – being a working mom, not being there enough for my kids or my husband, being too preoccupied with work, not keeping up with my friends better. It’s so easy to get down on myself, but always harder to lift myself up when I need it.

Sure, there are days when I feel like I am killing it. I’ve gotten both kids out the door, managed to shower and do my makeup, check off everything on my to-do list, make dinner, write a blog post, drink enough water, exercise. Then there are other days where I simply don’t feel good enough. I question my abilities in every single aspect of my life – work, motherhood, marriage, friendships. It’s in those days – I say days because this feeling isn’t just for a moment, but rather it consumes my entire day – that I try to remember the ways that I am worthy, wanted, needed, and enough.

But to continue to remind myself during my times of doubt, I’ve written them down. I’m sure if you’re reading this you’ve felt the exact same way as me, and maybe you can find these reminders helpful to you when you’re questioning yourself.

"Be gentle with yourself, learn to love yourself, to forgive yourself, for only as we have the right attitude toward ourselves can we have the right attitude toward others." -Wilfred Peterson

 

Give yourself grace

Period. There is always something going on, something that needs to be done, meals to be cooked, children to be tended to, family to take care of, clients to be served. The constant imaginary and very real list of to-dos can feel infinite and overwhelming. Cut yourself a break. Take things one at a time and give yourself some grace when things derail.

I am a damn good mom

Yes, I’m a full-time working mom, who also has a side hustle blogging, but my kids love me, and their love and affection shows me all I need to know to tell me I’m doing something right. The ear-splitting squeal of excitement and grin on Harry’s face while waddling to see me every day when I come through the door, and Huddy’s insistence on giving me a hug before I can even put my bags down, tells me I know I’m a better mom than I often give myself credit for.

Nobody’s life is as perfect as it seems

Working in social media, blogging, and Instagramming are hard on your self-esteem. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t compare myself to other women I see or follow on Instagram. But even I know that behind the scenes of my Instagram and blog photos, there’s a screaming baby who’s teething and needs my constant attention. There are fights with spouses, laundry piling up on the floor, dishes in the sink, food all over the high chair – all the things you will never see others post.

I am good at my job

I’m not perfect at my job, but I am damn good at it and I love it. I know this when my clients jokingly ask me to come work for them directly. I know this in the feedback my incredible boss gives me, because she knows I’ll never give myself the credit I deserve. I know this because metrics and analytics don’t lie. The strategies I put into place for my clients work and get results. I am always continuing to learn, grow, read, research and improve myself at work and I know that helps me be the best I can be at my job.

My husband is amazing

While this isn’t directly about me, he does amaze me. Every day. And his character, morals and convictions say more about who I am simply because I’m married to him. He loves me unconditionally. He loves me when I’m being irrational. He loves me despite the fact that I can’t ever seem to shut any cabinet door I open. He cleans. HE. CLEANS. I am not the clean one, he is. He reminds me daily how much I mean to him and how important our family is to him. He pushes me to be better. He pushes me out of my comfort zone and challenges me to be the best me. He supports me. He’s never questioned my intentions or goals or ideas, he just offers his unwavering and full support of me.

I am worthy and I am enough

We should all recite this to ourselves every morning and every night because we need to hear it more than we do. I am worthy of love, affection, friendship, my job, my salary, my marriage, motherhood, happiness – all of it. And I am enough. I don’t need to try to be any more than I am. Being a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, lover, team member, writer – it’s all enough. And I am worthy of the good things that come to me because I’ve worked my ass off for them and I should be proud. And if I just want to be a Midwest mom with a job, husband, family and blog, and not strive for more, then that’s enough too.

Written by: Abby

Life with Huddy and Harry

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