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I'll Take the Imperfect Body To 🎶Live My Best Life 🎶

So, I was going to start this off with some Cardi B featuring the one and only Chance the Rapper.  

🎶Living my best life 🎶

Do you ever find yourself making up song lyrics? You only find out your lyrics are straight-up false when somebody else sings the song next to you or you read the words.  

Doh.

I just read them. And I was way off. Turns out, it's not an appropriate start to this post. I'll be damned.

I'm going to play it on the way home regardless to so I can hear my kids version 😉

Get the popcorn ready.

Moving on...

After 35 years of being on this planet, I've figured out some epic shit.

You may have reached some of these conclusions yourself...

  • We will never stop complaining when summer is hot and winter is cold
  • Vanilla is forever better than chocolate
  • Spiders are the worst things sharing planet earth with us
  • Teachers are saints and should all be paid 6 figures or be able to return our naughty monsters
  • Rules are guidelines, except for my kids, they're pretty damn firm
  • Home Alone is the best Christmas movie of all time
  • That three-letter word will max out the 'Yes Dears' in your relationship. No question.

There's also one thing in particular that I've learned over the years that can't be ignored.  

After I had my first child, I had this major goal. I wanted to be in a physique competition.

It was almost a year after having my oldest and I needed a mission. I appreciate a good competition and since there's no NFL team for moms, it seemed like a good secondary option.

My training partner's name was Lisa and she was also my 'coach'. We trained daily. Hard. For us that consisted of heavy lifting and gym humor, we laughed as much as we lifted. Or more.

Pictured:  Dipped in chocolate.  Lisa left.  Me right.

I looked forward to it.

I loved the training. But to my disbelief, that's not the only part of a body competition. It's serious shit. More serious than bringing your best jokes to the gym for 2 hours.

Say what?

The tough part was the diet.

It was a mental mind f*ck.  'Specially for a chick that loves her grinds.

Here was our menu in case you're inclined to try it on for yourself.

Water, chicken, water, chicken, water, chicken, water, peanut butter, water, chicken, water, chicken, water, broccoli, and oh yeah, eggs.  

And more water.

There was something lacking and I felt it. Aside from the other food groups...

I loved the body transformation but I still didn't feel happy. I thought for sure this was the missing link?

Apparently not. Phoning a friend.

What was it then?

Life baby. Life was missing.

I realized there were a few missing ingredients in my stint here during my hundred (please God) or so years.  

I LOVE life. I LOVE food. I LOVE experiences. I LOVE drinking. I LOVE spontaneity. I LOVE travel. I LOVE a variety of it all... sometimes at once!

Water nourishes the body, but tequila is good for the soul.

I hated the dieting part. It was crushing and if I'm being honest, there was a lot of cheating going on. Did you say cheese fries?!

Why did I start this in the first place? Was I trying to prove something to myself? To feel better?  

I had to finish.  

Competition day came and left and I learned two things:

1. The more hideous your spray tan, the better off you are in a 'body competition'. If you don't look awkwardly dark to the point you get flat out stares at the grocery store, you're not doing it right. I'm talking brown like a Hershey bar. It was a 'bit' drastic with my Swedish/Irish (translucent) skin tone and somehow I couldn't get past the Oompah Loompa stage..

2. It was a one time deal for me. Cross it off the bucket list, but I couldn't wait to get back to...

🎶Living my best life 🎶

That was 10 years ago. Although I miss the bod, I don't miss the experiences I had to pass up to get there.

It's just not worth it to me.

Sure there's a thing called 'balance' that I try to partake in nowadays, but even if I'm not always balanced, I appreciate the freedom.

I love working out, but nowadays it's for more for health, although feeling like a fox in the LBD is more than a bonus 🚨

I've slowly decided not to stress about perfection. What is perfect anyway?  

I've thought deeply about death. Yes, morbid, but also, yes, a life freak.  I'm trying to squeeze out every laugh and moment here while I can.

We are the tiniest speck in space. We are one of the billions of people on the planet. Just the fact that we are here, is a mouth dropping miracle in itself. 

I love being in shape. I admire those around me jamming out in the gym. I don't pass judgment for those that live the life that I thought I wanted, and sometimes, I go through seasons where I want to push harder or tip the balance scale.  

But, overall, in the grand scheme of things, the 'perfect bod', yeah it's not for me.

That's not my happy place.

Occasionally after a good workout, there's a brunch with girlfriends stocked with belly laughs to smile about for a lifetime.

Sometimes after a well-balanced dinner, there's a bottle of wine, and kicking back with my hubby. We unwind, we laugh, we snuggle, and we're reminded of why we're doing this thing called life together.

During camping, if we want to roast mallows at midnight and make smores, we do just that.  Smores are a key ingredient for a happy life, after all.  

The most satisfying beach days I can remember are with great friends, all our monsters in tow and whatever food + drinks we felt like taking on that day.

When I'm making a nice breakfast for my crew, there's probably a mimosa nearby.

These extra few pounds that hang around these days are not an imperfection. They're the opposite. They're life itself, being lived, being loved, and being celebrated.

To me, that's f*cking perfection.

Each of us gets to decide our own version of perfect.  Maybe I'll opt for the 6 pack when I'm 90, maybe not.  

For now, I'm just gonna be over here...

🎶Living my best life🎶

And happy with it.  

Read Next:

How to not raise asshole kids

I'm 35 and grateful AF

A letter to my hubby from the girl you made 'mom'


1 comment

  • thanks..I needed this. My grandma, before she passed said to me. You only have one chance at this life. Don’t pass up an opportunity because your not happy with how you look. Go swimming, eat cake. Life is too short, god made you a vessel now go use it.

    Danielle Tadlock

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