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How to Not Raise Asshole Kids

How to Not Raise Asshole Kids

There are way too many assholes running around 

Stop the insanity. I wasn't around in the 1950s, but my grandma said 'kids just didn't act like this' about a zillion times when we used to hang out in her parlor full of interesting glass objects.
 
 
How many times do you walk through a grocery store, school, mall, or even to a friends house and walk away thinking 'Thank God that is not my child.' Probably more times than you realize, but it's not their fault. It's the collective generation of parents paving the perfect path for their sweet little angels and not realizing that they are creating total entitled assholes.
 
Before you jump to conclusions and assume it’s your tired toddler that melts down on the floor of Target, that’s not it.  
 
Hell, I melt on the floor at Target when I’m tired too. It’s just too much Joanna Gaines.
 
We’re talking about the kid that has meltdowns every time they go into Target because you’re not buying them all 6 toys they are eyeballing. Or the kid that walks into your house and sits on your couch staring at their phone instead of saying hello. Or the kid that never says thank you. Or the kid that acts entitled af.  
It's a cringe-worthy topic and is like nails on a chalkboard to watch. My kids are assholes sometimes, they all are!  
 
Do you remember Veruca Salt (not the band) from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? She was hard to watch. A total example of a spoiled brat, otherwise known as, an asshole.

 

 

While everybody needs guides and checklists these days, here is your friendly guide to not raising assholes.
 
How to not raise assholes:
1. Don't be an asshole yourself, your kids are watching.
 
2. Tell your husband not to be an asshole either, yeah they're watching him too.
 
3. Create some f*cking house rules. And stick to them. Don't just give up because it's hard, or inconvenient at the time. They'll learn from your behavior and do it all over again. This one is really f*cking hard by the way.
 
4. Teach them some mother loving respect. "Respect your elders", they used to say, except respect everybody. A disrespectful kid is an instant asshole to the people around them.  
 
5. Teach your kid to say hello. It's a real word. If you send Johnny on a playdate and Sam and his mom pick up Johnny, Johnny better say hello to Sam's mom and dad. Or he's an asshole. Hello is common courtesy.
 
6. They need manners. Real ones, not shrugs, or half-assed nods. Words. Please and thank you are the highly effective ones here.  
 
7. The world doesn't revolve around them. Sometimes kids get it twisted but other times parents lead them to believe they are the more important than everybody else. Of course, they're special kids, but teaching them the sun rises and sets on their ass is not a good long term play. Asshole.
 
8. Responsibility and accountability. That shit doesn't just happen as a grownup. Fold some laundry, help around the house, give them responsibility and hold them to it. Will they be a good wife or hubby if they don't learn these things? Be f*cking responsible.
 
9. "Mean Girls" are never in style. Otherwise known as a 'bully, it's a learned behavior. It could be from movies, the family at home, friends, or people at school. Bullies are total assholes and will keep that behavior throughout life.
 
10. Teach them to be grateful. Not just for toys, Disneyland, treats, or new clothes. Grateful for everything. Breathing, a f*cking small piece of bread, family, friends, a bed, a toothbrush, wearing shoes, sunshine, being alive. Grateful.  It'll last with them throughout life.
 
Raising kids is really f*cking hard. It's hard to set rules and stick to them because life is just tough sometimes. Set the guidelines for your family and talk about them, communicate to your child what's acceptable and what's not. They need to hear it. They need to understand it and know when they're out of bounds.  
 
Be a person you want your kid to emulate. This doesn't mean perfect, just be aware. Kids are incredible little humans with so much love, curiosity, hope, and potential. It's up to us to steer them in the right direction. Don't raise assholes.


Read Next: 
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Comments

Lisa - July 30, 2019

Totally agree with this! And with the f bombs. Only thing I would add is to be sure and volunteer with your kids , it helps them realize it takes a village to build a better world for all humanity ❤️

P.M. - July 29, 2019

Loved the truth & Reality of this article! I think you make excellent points! We are adults and no need to sugar coat it for you unrealistic people! The world is big, look outside your box and face it! Thank you for making this black & white! Wake up people!

Daphne DOUGLAS - July 28, 2019

The message of the article is tarnished by the constant use of the “f” word, indicating lack of control by the writer or limited adjectives in her vocabulary . It doesn’t initiate respect to the reader or the child. Part of not raising AH kids is teaching about ( by example too) respect & showing respect – it doesn’t with all that unnecessary street talk – analogy- meeting the perfect looking , well groomed date, then he opens his mouth with that language is like, to me , having his front teeth rotted out! Just dirty looking / sounding mouth. I know some won’t agree! This is how I feel!

Sheri - July 27, 2019

NAILED IT! 👏👍🏻🤣

Letha - July 27, 2019

Loved this! Do NOT delete a single F word. It is not offensive, it is real. Censoring the reality of the way most of us speak is just perpetuating more of the point to this article. Teaching, showing and not handling our children with white gloves will allow them to be well rounded “real” adults.

ANNA - July 21, 2019

I enjoyed your article. I agree with Rose that you need to consider deleting all the F** words. Realize please that one thing we need to teach our children, especially boys is not to use that language. Ever. Not in front of a lady, a gentleman, not when trying to get a job. See, once it becomes part of your vernacular, it is hard to break the habit. I use F** all the time and I wish now I had never started. Difficult to break.

And the other person who criticized the Court Reporter, I have no words. The CR was just trying to help. I would bet a dollar to a doughnut that the C R is more educated and earns more money than that person. It was uncalled for. Yes I know ending a sentence with a preposition is wrong. I’m tired. Beeen going at cancer treatment all day. Please forgive any faux pas.

I was actually trying to find books, articles or courses for my adult son. I was disappointed in the way he treated a lady. He didn’t think before he spoke. I want to show him the error in his conduct. I cannot do that with the F word every other sentence. Thus, if anyone has anything I can have my young son read or a course to take in manners especially with sensitivity to the MeToo movement, please send links. Thanks.

Please do not curse me out. I am just looking for answers.

Mary - July 14, 2019

Rose. There are a lot of kids that are assholes. Not sure what utopian world you live in but the real world has way too many. I’m pretty sure their parents are assholes too.
This is an excellent article. Thank you!

Melanie - July 13, 2019

The funniest comment is the court reporter who wants to edit your work for “punctuality”. LOL. Punctuation, maybe? I think your article was great, by the way.

Ashley Proxmire - July 11, 2019

Hi there. I’m a court reporter, and I would love to offer up my services of editing your articles. They’re well written, but could definitely use a second eye when it comes to grammar and punctuality. I’m currently a stay at home mom, and would be more interested in editing your articles than my usual litigation-oriented work. Let me know!

xx
ash

JM - July 10, 2019

Rose your exactly the problem. Sensitivity…..please. The world and many parents today are raising spoiled , disrespectful brats. In which will turn into asshole adults. Life is not fair. People need to realize this. Raise your kids to respect and understand life will hand them disappointments. Period.

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