There is a long list of 'difficult' things in life and co-parenting might just take the cake.
Co-parenting after a divorce is rarely easy. Emotions are high and there's often some extra bitterness from the split. Your trust in your ex-partner is broken, how can you choose to co-parent?
It’s difficult, but if your ex has no issues with sexual abuse or drug use, jumping in on the co-parenting boat can provide great benefits to you and your kids.
Khloe Kardashian has recently shed light on the truth in co-parenting, "It will suck, it will be hard, but it’s always worth it for the sake of the child." She and her partner Tristan broke up recently and she's moving forward with her child's best interest at heart.
There are some incredible benefits to co-parenting. We'll share them below along with some tips to make the transition easier for everyone.
How Kids Benefit from Co-Parenting
Co-parenting happens when two people who are no longer together, continue to share the duties and responsibilities of rearing children. In this scenario, ex-couples provide each other the opportunity to maintain healthy relationships with the kids. Sounds easy right?
Research has shown that children who live with a co-parenting arrangement can continue to grow well in all aspects if both parents are committed to co-parenting well. Striving to make the co-parenting arrangement work can provide lifelong benefits not only to children but to ex-partners as well. If you’re wondering if shared parenting is worth it, check out these amazing benefits of co-parenting.
Your child will feel an increased sense of security
It’s inevitable, divorce and separation lend a lot of stress and uncertainty for kids. Will they ever see or hear from the other parent again? Will the other parent still want them? Will they ever feel whole? Was it their fault?
The co-parenting choice will re-establish a sense of security to your kids. When both parents take an active part in raising the children, they will feel loved, accepted, and confident. Knowing that both parents will still be there despite divorce and separation will bring a big sense of safety and peace to kids.
Your child will know their emotions matter
The process of divorce, separation, and breaking up can be painful for every child. Parents can get lost in the process that the negative emotions dealt with by kids get easily unnoticed. Making the decision to still share parenting roles with your partner can make your children feel that their emotions matter. It lends a lot to a child's confidence and peace of mind knowing their emotions are equally important.
They will not feel rejected
Children whose parents have broken up can inevitably feel rejected. Knowing that one parent will soon leave the house can give a huge emotional toll on children. Working together through co-parenting and communication, helps the child know their situation overall is still the same. When children feel the presence of both parents in their lives, they feel less rejected and abandoned. Still actively participating in the child’s activities even after the painful divorce can give great emotional benefits to the kids as well.
Co-parenting improves communication between the adults
The commitment of both parents to co-parent even after divorce goes beyond the child. Co-parenting also benefits the divorcees as it helps improve communication with one another. When both parents are committed to doing whatever it takes to raise great kids, they can see the bigger picture and realize it's about the child first and foremost. Pursuing a common goal may not always heal existing or past issues, but it does allow both parents to work together and raise an awesome, happy, confident child.
Co-parenting proves to both children and adults that conflicts can be resolved.
When you choose to parent with an ex-spouse or ex-partner, you're leading by example. You're showing your child first hand that conflicts and problems can be resolved. You begin to teach your kids that hard feelings and strained relationships can be set aside to pursue the greater good. It's an awesome skill to share with your children! Of course, it's not easy, but showing them how to navigate difficult situations is a great asset for life.
Co-Parenting Tips: How to Make it Work
- Set your emotions aside. The truth is, this first step is the hardest step among all, cooperating with an ex can be a struggle, but it's necessary. Co-parenting does not revolve around your issues and feelings, it’s fully about your child’s happiness, stability, and security.
- Strive to keep communication healthy. In sharing parenting responsibilities, like it or not, your ex is your teammate. If it starts to feel impossible (and sometimes it will), remember the purpose of why you co-parent, to ensure your childrens well being.
- Be honest and open. In every decision you make for the kids always ask yourself “Is this something we should discuss together? Regardless of what happened in the past (it's hard we know!), move forward being open and honest about things that affect your child and your co-parenting situation.
- Don’t be selfish. Your ex also loves your children, they deserve to be in your kids’ lives. When the hurt cannot be ignored, it’s easy to just deny the other parent the chance to be with the kids. Although it may earn you a few revenge rewards, denying your children the company of their other parent does not speak of love. It'll get easier as time goes on, be positive, and keep the main thing the main thing.
- Don’t sweat the small stuff. Save your energy for bigger, more important issues.
- Keep exchanges short and sweet. When it’s time for kids to spend time with the other parent, do it simply and with a smile. Try not to cry or give strict directions to your ex. He's on his own journey now that requires your trust and support. Let them enjoy their time together.
The co-parenting choice is a noble choice. It takes courage, forgiveness, and a ton of patience to make it all work. t will require you to trust, to understand, and to share. It will test you in all aspects. It’s hard, but it can be so worth it. Your child will continue to live happily and without question if you and your partner can set aside your issues and go forward with co-parenting.